Change

You plaster a fake smile
Across your lips
Pretending to be happy.
While the entire world
Believes your pretension,
I know differently.

How would I know?
You wonder.
I see your eyes
Tired from sobbing into the quiet of the night.
I hear your muffled cries
Dying behind locked doors.

The cuts on your wrists
And the rope marks on your neck
Are invisible to this world.
But I can see
The number of times you have died
Or been killed, rather.

You cannot take it any longer
So you decide to tighten the noose
For real this time.
But something stops you.
You wonder how I know you this well
So I share my secret,
“You are not the only one
Battling against this ghastly world”.

Unconvinced, the noose is still around your neck.
So I try one last time
And show you
The cuts and marks
That are invisible to this world,
Not on your wrists or neck
But on mine.
And whisper,
“I was here too but I chose to live
And change what drove me to the noose.
You should live to do the same.”

NOTE:
Suicide is one of the leading causes of death amongst teenagers in India and depression is one of the main reasons why many are driven to commit suicide.
Sadly,depression is not even considered as a mental disease by many. Some think of it as a phase or something that would go away eventually but it will not. In advanced stages, only proper medication and counselling can cure this deadly illness. If you feel depressed, talk to somebody who is willing to listen. Suicide is not the answer to everything because life is beautiful despite that fact that it can punch you in your face or knock you down continuously. If you ever feel like giving up on life, think of all the people you love and remember that you deserve all the happiness in this world and do not let anybody tell you otherwise.

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The Answer

“You never seem satisfied
With the abundance
I have given you.
What more do you want?”
You seek an answer.

The red lipstick
That cost you a fortune
Feels heavy on my lips,
Blocking my words.
A thin strand of shiny metal
Studded with sparkling stones
Embellishes my neck.
Feels like a feather to you
But I know its weight.

You drape me in rich silk.
Beautiful yet heavy;
So heavy, that it nearly chokes me.
But I brave a smile and
Appreciate its finesse.
You put me in a mansion and
Fill it with the air
That you were made to breathe.
But you and I both know
That we breathe different air.
So I suffocate
And struggle to breathe
In my own nest.

You watch me like a hawk
As I try to answer.
Yes. What more could I possibly want?
The answer demands to be
Loud and clear
But it comes out as a pathetic whisper
That sounded something like:
“Freedom”.

MASKS

Afraid of ridicule,
Taught not to stand out;
Silenced when different from the rest.
We conceal our souls with a petty mask.
But you deny being a part of this mad game.
Well, let me show you
How we are all victims.

Where is the spirited little child?
That got muddy in the rain,
Chased butterflies, bathed in streams
And didn’t care about what the world said?
Or, where is that rebellious teenager?
Who wanted to make a difference
And swore that she wouldn’t rest
Until she changed the world?
Where is the adult?
That wanted to wanderlust
And let her spirit run naked
On paper and ink.

You look at me, puzzled.
Trying hard to speak
From underneath that heavy mask.
And I simply say:
Take it off, darling
Because this unreal world needs some real people.

Her Story

She. A beautiful paradox. She had an imagination that could fill a thousand books, an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and an unvanquishable fire that raged within her. Her heart was cold as ice but her smile was enough to melt any winter. She was innocent but aware and a dreamer rooted to this monotonous world. Parts of her were mellow like a saint while parts of her were fierce like a rebel. The beauty and kindness of her soul were reflected in her eyes.
But life wasn’t going to be kind, unlike her. The world treated her generosity as a weakness and her innocence became her Achilles’ heel. When he, another beautiful but broken soul came close, she longed for his warmth. Slowly her icy heart began to melt and together they experienced the greatest ecstasies of love. But little did she realise that it would be the same fiery passion that would burn her down to ashes. He wanted to burn along with her in the fire that they started together but not wanting to see him fall apart again, she pushed him away with all the courage she could muster.
And there she was, in the depths of despair and hopelessness. Tired of falling apart and stabbed in the back by those close to her, she wished that she wouldn’t wake up on some days. She lost hope and she wasn’t the same as she was before. Life was becoming abysmal but it had to go on. She was ready to give in but the courage of her own heart amazed her. She didn’t know that she could endure this amount of pain and her heartbreak led to self- discovery and realisation.
Like a phoenix from the ashes, she rose more confident and stronger than ever. She is no longer afraid of anything because she has been through the darkest path and still survived. She isn’t scared to face her past because she has a tribe of fierce, trustworthy women who have her back. Her wounds have healed but the scars remain and she isn’t ashamed of them. She wears them as a symbol of her survival – that she lived yet another day to tell her story.
Her heart is broken, bruised but still beating strong. Her convictions and beliefs are stronger than ever and she is ready to take on the world. This is her story and it could be yours too.

New beginnings

This is my very first blog post and I’m super excited. This has been my long time dream and hopefully my first step to become a published writer. My blog will basically be an online journal with my rants, feelings and what not! I write poetry occasionally. Writing is my escape and one of the things that got me through tough times and keeps me alive. I believe that writing can work magic in people’s lives and if it is good enough it can change lives of readers too. I hope to change people’s lives through writing.